The last time I had to renew my license was when I turned 21. I had just returned home from California, so I was golden brown & in the best shape of my life! My weight on that license, along with my pearly white grin, was far from a lie. I remember thinking how lucky I was to be that size & promising myself I would never become one of “those” people who lied about their weight on their license.
As time went on, and as my fun loving-crazy-21-something-self grew up, the weight packed on. The low number on that small plastic square slowly became a memory of better health & a happier me. Even having to look at my license became painful, but I kept it because I loved the photo. Sure, there were points where I may have been close to that weight, but 5 years later I was now 30lbs above that beautiful number.
I always had a fear that someone would look at my license, look at me & then back at my license, and not believe it was the same person. It wasn’t until someone stole my wallet that I was forced to get a new license. I put it off for months hoping that my license would magically be returned to me. No such luck. The time had come and I had to face what i had so easily ignored.
I sat at the DMV filling out my form and I skipped over the weight section to answer the rest of the questions. Finally I circled back & wrote in a number. Then I scratched it out and wrote another number. The last number was the one went with.
I’m not going to tell you the number I wrote, or if it was close to the reality of what I weigh now. But I will tell you that I lied. I lied & I felt horrible & guilty. I felt horrible because I realized how fat I had actually become. I felt guilty because
I had became one of “those” people who lied about their weight on their license.
It was, among other slap-in-the-face situations such as this, a wake up call. There is always more to something than what appears on the surface. I believe there’s a whole story & particular emotions behind every pound on my body. With the help of God I’m determined to figure it out, face it head on, then let it go.
I may never be the weight I was at 21 year old. But I’m I’m determined to have peace in my soul & love for my body again. I want to be healthy, and proud in my own skin. And I don’t want to shamefully lie about my weight on my license ever again.