Silent Night

When I get angry I get quiet. I shut down. I do the whole “silent treatment” thing where nothing gets accomplished & I don’t talk to my husband for most of the night, except for one-word responses here & there. Then, without fail, I get upset over something small, I blow up, & I say everything I shouldn’t say.

I always feel that being silent is better than saying what’s on my mind while I’m angry. If you know me at all you know that I tend to be, at times, overly honest. I always think that I’m doing the right thing by just sitting back, not talking, and stewing about whatever it is I’m frustrated about. But I know I’m not. I know It’s all very immature. It’s happening right now, actually. I’ve decided to blog about it so that I can look back on this post & remember what God is teaching me.

I’m learning that whenever I’m angry at my husband, or anyone for that matter, it’s a warning sign that I’m putting my faith (or unhealthy expectations) in people who are only human. My faith should be in God.

I’m learning that whatever problem I have with others is usually a mirror to my own heart. It’s God’s way of showing me to examine my own actions & emotions.

I’m learning that in times of anger being silent isn’t always wise. In my “silence” I’m sure I scream in nonverbal’s and negative energy. God made us to communicate with one another in love & respect. Something that, I’ll admit, is a challenge for me in my marriage. But it’s a challenge that I’m willing to overcome.

One key to marital bliss i often hear is “don’t go to bed angry”. I’ve always hated that because, frankly, some nights we do go to bed angry– it happens. We’re all human. However, the longer I’m married, I realize the underlying wisdom in that saying.

I’m thankful God is patient with me even in my anger. It helps me remember I’m human. It helps me remember that my husband is a gift I need show respect towards.

I’ve always been a slow learner, but I’m learning that a “silent night” should exist only as the title of a Christmas carol.